My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
