so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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