Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
