so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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