the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
