I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
