hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
