Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
too bad you live with your parents still
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
