what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My liver is preforming stress tests.
as a side note pls kill me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
