you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
