You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
