It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
