He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
