OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
