i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
