Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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