I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
