but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
