What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
