It's Friday. Sex?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
