its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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