Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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