I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
