At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
