drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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