It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
