is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
