All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
