32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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