I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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