It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
