is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
