took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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