Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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