apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
