K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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