I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
