It's Friday. Sex?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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