Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
