Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize