I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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