What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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