There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
