Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
