Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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