id be glad to
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
