I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
