my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
