In the future we'll all be gay
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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