Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
