are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
