I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
