are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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