I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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