Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
