I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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