Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
