apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
