sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
