dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
