When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
