Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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