I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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