I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
