More tranny stories later!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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