i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
